put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
