It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
