am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
