You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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