is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
