rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
