If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize