I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
