Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
