Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
