We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
