Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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