please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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