Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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