My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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