you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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