What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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