i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
