Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
