you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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