i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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