i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
