I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
