Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
