I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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