Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
