i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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