ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
