Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
