I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
