Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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