im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
