But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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