I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
