if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
