i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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