ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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