And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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