Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
