Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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