I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize