Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
