i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
