id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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