Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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