I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
