he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
