we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize