i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
