I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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