i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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