belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
