the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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