idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
