When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
