do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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