just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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