So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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