I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
