If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
