Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
