Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Randomize
