11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
