I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
