Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize