Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
