He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
