Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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