is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
