I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
