let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
