come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She announced her abortion via fbk
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
