The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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