how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
