Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
