so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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