I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i will never coherently bang her
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it's like heaven, but drunker
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
