thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
