she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
