Kiss
Puke
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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