you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
